


When I'm Missing You (She's My Soul)

by CycloneRachel



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: (takes place after that episode), Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on a Tumblr Post, Comfort/Angst, Earth-1 Alex, Gen, Gen Work, Memory Alteration, One Shot, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Post-Elseworlds Crossover Event (CW DC TV Universe), Sister-Sister Relationship, headcanons, not Kalex, spoilers for 4x10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 13:12:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17684123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CycloneRachel/pseuds/CycloneRachel
Summary: based on a post from Tumblr user nieladasdenani: "I cannot believe I haven’t come across a fic in which Kara goes to the Alex of Elseworlds for comfort after “losing” half of her Alex to mind-erasure."





	When I'm Missing You (She's My Soul)

She can’t tell her own Alex.

First of all, because it would make Alex feel terrible- _Oh, you lost your memory of me being Supergirl, so I’m gonna go talk to the “you” that hardly knows me at all! Great plan._ \- and second, if she would do that, and see the look on Alex’s face, it would make Kara herself feel terrible just for letting her know.

So, obviously, that’s out of the question.

Alex isn’t even going to know she’s gone.

She tells J’onn and Brainy instead, J’onn because he knows where she’s going and Brainy so he can create some excuse for Alex if she’s not back for movie night.

(On the condition that, should Kara go again, she would bring Brainy along to meet with Cisco- which she has no complaints about, Cisco’s great and he and Brainy seemed to hit it off right away when they met last month)

Kara holds the interdimensional extrapolator in her hands, thinking, _Alex, Alex, Alex_. Concentrating on the image of her sister, even in that braid, so she can find her again. Not that she’d have much trouble with that otherwise, but still.

Then, she steps through the portal, and goes to see Alex.  
~  
Alex Danvers wasn’t sure what to make of Kara, when she found herself working at STAR Labs, with a woman who looked awfully like pictures of her boss’s daughter. But she only realized that after the fact- in that time, things seemed very normal.

Aside from the woman she had locked up in front of her, calling herself her sister.

She hadn’t wanted to believe her, back then. Or at least she didn’t think she had, her memories of those events weren’t entirely clear, but one thing was certain. She remembered Kara.

Remembered this woman, who she didn’t know, but Kara knew her. She wanted Alex to know her, and she so strongly believed Alex should know her.

Kara was a good person, and at the end of the day, she did know who she was talking about. Which was why Alex had let her go- that, and the feeling that though they weren’t sisters in this universe, they should be. She wanted them to be, even though she’d never heard of either Kara Danvers or Supergirl. Even a Google search had told her nothing.

Which was why she found it so utterly bewildering when Kara found her, a month and ten days later.

“How did you get in here?” she asks, voice trying to stay even. “I-“

“Don’t worry about it.” Kara says, as if it isn’t a big deal that she just walked into Alex’s apartment. No, more than that- just appeared, out of nowhere. “I just want to talk, alright? It won’t take long.”

Alex sinks onto her couch, and Kara sits on one of the chairs opposite her at first.

“Oh, come on. Get over here.” Alex says, and Kara scoots over to sit next to her. “I kind of missed you, you know? It was nice, having a sister for a few hours.”

“The situation we were in wasn’t very nice.” Kara answers, with a grimace. “But, yeah- and I liked knowing I still had a sister on this Earth.”

“I wasn’t what you were expecting, though.” Alex says.

“Still good.” Kara says, though looking uncertainly at Alex’s braid. “Still Alex- and that was what counted. Without you, I don’t know how we would’ve saved the world.”

“That’s giving me a little too much credit, don’t you think?” Alex asks. “I think you would’ve found a way out, even if I hadn’t been there.”

“Maybe, but I think it was destiny that you were put there, to guard me.” Kara says. “You were my way out- and I’m glad I was shown that, even if Deegan considered it an accident.”

“Well, I was just happy to help.” Alex says. “So, why’re you here now? Is there something else threatening reality that can only be defeated with the power of the Danvers sisters?”

Kara sighs, and softly shakes her head.

“No, not reality.” She says. “I just…”  
She moves toward Alex, who accepts her hug- even if it feels like the wind has only slightly been knocked out of her lungs. Alex lets Kara hug her, knowing her Alex probably would’ve done the same, and stays in the embrace until slowly, Kara pulls away, and wipes her eyes on a tissue she grabs from Alex’s coffee table.

“Sorry.” Kara answers. “I just really missed doing that.”

“Hey.” Alex says. “What’s wrong?”

Horror flashes on her face, as she goes over how tightly Kara held onto her, how she barely looked at her face while talking to her.

“Oh my god, am I dead on your Earth?” she asks. “Is that it?”

Kara shakes her head again, and Alex moves to hold her hand. Kara’s hand tightens around it, and Alex doesn’t let go.

“No, not exactly.” Kara says. “You’re… um, the other Alex… is still alive. She just- how do I explain this?”

“Just start at the beginning.” Alex answers, and she does.

~

Even before reality changed, Alex hadn’t been great at expressing her feelings. Or, really, having much of a life outside her work- she’d always pushed herself to do more. She had needed to devote herself to a cause, which led her to Tannhauser Industries.

But since December, she was making efforts to do better. Take Kara’s advice, as much as she could. And seeing her so upset now, her decision crystallized- she was going to become someone worthy of being Kara Danvers’s sister. The sister she was proud of, and one she would be proud of, even though there was no Kara Danvers on this Earth.

(She had to exist, of course. Somehow- whether in the past, or future, or somewhere else- and Alex wanted to find her. But she pushed that into the back of her mind, and focused on this Kara. On holding her hand, and keeping an arm around her, because the other Alex couldn’t, and she was the substitute for the sister Kara knew and loved so much)

“Sorry.” Alex answers, wincing at how much of an understatement that is while Kara gives her a sad smile. “Seriously, that… that must be so hard.”

“Yeah.” Kara says. “And she was so sure about it, was the thing. She was certain she wanted to do this, to protect me.”

Alex nods. “Then she must’ve known it was the right thing to do.” She says. “Even though it was difficult, she must have prepared herself to do anything it took for you, and there was nothing anyone would’ve done to stop her.”

“You really think so?” Kara asks, examining her face.

Alex shifts, pulling back her arm so they’re face-to-face on the couch, and she’s holding both of Kara’s hands.  
“I do.” She says. “Because, given the chance, I would’ve done that too. You’re worth protecting, Alex knew that- and even though it broke her heart, she did what she had to for your protection.”

“How are you so sure about that?”

“I’d like to think I know myself pretty well.” Alex answers. “And based on what you’ve told me about her.”

“Right.” Kara says. She lets go of Alex, falling back on the couch, holding her head like she’s got a headache. “So, what do I do? It’s not like I can get Alex’s memories back right now.”

“Not right now, you’re right.” Alex says. “And things are probably going to be really hard for you and her, in the near future. She’ll feel lost without you too, even though she might not say it. But if you’re any indication, I know you’ll find some way to work things out for good.”

“I guess.” Kara answers.

“Hey, that doesn’t sound like the Kara Danvers I met last month.” Alex answers, poking her in the side. “Listen, if you hoped that I could be your sister, I can hope that you’ll work things out with yours, right? That’s how this works?”

Alex watches Kara’s face, as she slowly starts smiling.

“It is.” She says, hugging her one more time. “Thanks for the talk.”

“No problem.” Alex answers, while the two of them stand up together. “Come back any time, alright? I still want to know how you got here. And your powers-“

“Another time.” Kara says. “Right now, my Earth’s Alex is waiting for me to come back for movie night.”

“Really?” Alex asks, as Kara opens the portal. “Which movie?”

Kara’s nose scrunches up, as she answers. “ _Terminator 2_. I don’t get it, but it’s Alex’s favorite-“

“It’s my favorite too.” Alex says. “I guess some things don’t change, huh?”

“Yeah.” Kara tells her, as she steps backward, so she can still look at this Alex, as she waves goodbye. “They don’t.”

The portal closes, and Alex sits back down again, already missing her. Then, she grabs her computer, and gets to work on searching for her Earth’s Kara.

No matter how long it might take to find her.


End file.
